Even Angels Fall
by Zane's Girl- Jo
Summary: Her mother had told her once that no matter how strong, how bright and beautiful, how saintly, even angels fell from Heaven. It was just God's way of making them understand.


**************Even Angels Fall**

**************R****ifiuto: Non Miriena**

**************Summary: Her mother had told her once that no matter how strong, how bright and beautiful, how saintly, even angels fell from Heaven. It was just God's way of making them understand. **

She swallowed, rushing into Carter's office. Thank God, he was still there, sitting in Carter's cell, flipping through a magazine. Taking a deep breath, she rushed to the bars, relief flooding her small frame.

"Zane!" She wrapped her hands around the bars. "Yes. My answer is yes."

He sat up, tossing the magazine aside. "Yes?" She nodded. "You mean... you'll talk to Carter about letting me go?" She stared at him confused, before shaking her head.

"No! Yes, I will marry you."

His blue eyes widened, and he thought a moment, before picking up the magazine again.

"Me? Marry you? In what universe?"

_You found hope, you found faith_  
_Found how fast she could take it away_  
_Found true love, lost your heart_  
_Now you don't know who you are_

"Jo? What are you doing here all alone?" She looked up, seeing Carter coming towards her. She was perched on her desk, fiddling with the chain around her neck. She took a deep breath.

"It's... it's where he proposed and I didn't answer."

Carter set his files down and went to the young woman. He took a deep breath.

"Ah... I see..." He thought a moment. "Everybody freezes first time in combat, Jo." He stopped, seeing the look on his former deputy's face; her dark eyes had narrowed, and he felt a momentary wash of fear race up his spine. "Okay... _almost_ everybody." He put his hands in his pockets, shrugging. "You got scared, Jo. It doesn't change how you feel about him. You just... got scared." He leaned against the chair she had her feet resting on, watching as she looked down at the chain around her neck, returning to play with the ring.

"I just... I just wish I'd said... _something_. Anything." She swallowed, watching the stone wink at her. "I... look, I... I know it wouldn't make a difference if I'd said anything or not, and I _know_ he wouldn't remember now, but... but at least it would be out there in the universe." She dropped the ring, lacing her hands together, as tears gathered in her dark eyes. "Somewhere."

Carter sighed. "Jo-"

"I... I just..." She looked up at Carter, tears flowing freely down her cheeks now. "I love the uy." Carter gave her a soft smile. "And he loved me." She took a shaky breath, not bothering to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "Once."

_She made it easy, made it free_  
_Made you hurt till you couldn't see_  
_Sometimes it stops, some times it flows_  
_Baby, that is how love goes_

She crawled into bed, putting her ipod on and slipping her headphones into her ears. She placed it on the song that she'd discovered, not long after seeing _10 Things I Hate About You_. As the words began to fill her head, she thought back on her mother, on the stories she would tell her about the guardian angels sent to watch over them.

How sometimes, misbehaving angels were cast down to Earth to watch over those who were in dire need of a little guarding. How sometimes, the angel would be there, and sometimes, the angel wouldn't, but that they wouldn't be allowed back up to Heaven until they understood why they were cast down to Earth in the first place.

She remembered hearing stories about how, sometimes, even the guardian angels needed guarding.

As she rolled onto her back, she couldn't help asking herself where her guardian angel was.

_You will fly and you will crawl_  
_God knows even angels fall_  
_No such thing as you lost it all_  
_God knows even angels fall_

The drive was short, but she took her time, becoming lost in her music as she left GD and headed to her car. She didn't look up, didn't hear footsteps behind her, and only refocused her attention when someone grabbed her arm. Slowly, she turned to find herself staring into Zane's blue eyes.

"What do you want, Zane?" She asked, removing one headphone. He opened his mouth to speak, but shut it quickly, uncertain as to what to say. She waited, but when he didn't respond, she pulled away, putting her headphone back in and continuing across the rotunda. He followed.

"Jo!"

She stopped, turning. "What?" Taking the headphones from her ears, she took a step towards him. _"What_ do you _want from me_, Zane?"

He went to her, wrapping her in his arms. As he lowered his mouth to hers, he whispered,

"I want to know what we were."

_And it's a secret that no one tells_  
_One day it's heaven one day it's hell_  
_It's no fairy tale; take it from me_  
_That's the way it's supposed to be_

She took a deep breath, making her way up the steps to the church. She looked around, before pulling the door open and stepping inside. It was warm, and weak sunlight cast shadows on the ground, lighting the stained glass and turning them into jewels on display. She nodded to Reverand Harper, before making her way to one of the pews and taking a seat.

Removing her jacket and setting it beside her, she folded her hands and closed her eyes.

"Why?" She swallowed. "Why are you doing this to me? What did I do? What did I do wrong?" She sniffled. "I've tried. I've tried being good, really I have." Silence met her, she was surrounded by no one and nothing, lost in prayer, begging to know why her Zane was taken away from her and replaced with this imposter.

"I've come to church, I've... I've done my job... why? Why did you take him from me? Am I being punished for something I did wrong? And if so, what? What did I do? Tell me, so I can make amends! Please!" She turned her eyes to the ceiling, tears now flowing freely down her cheeks.

The cross she wore around her neck burned into her skin; a fever was spreading, flaring throughout her body, but she paid it no mind. She got up, going to the front of the church. Her knees gave out and she crumpled to the ground, grabbing onto the rail to stop herself. "Please, just... tell me..."

She got no response.

Was she a misbehaving angel? Had she done something to piss God off? Something that had warranted her removal from Heaven? Would she be allowed to return once she figured out what she'd done wrong? And if she didn't figure it out, would she be doomed to wander the earth for eternity, lost and alone, stuck in a purgatory of her own making?

Would she ever find happiness?

Did she need to protect someone?

Or did she herself need guarding?

_You will fly and you will crawl_  
_God knows even angels fall_  
_No such thing as you lost it all_  
_God knows even angels fall_

She didn't hear the footsteps, didn't look up. But she smelled him, the scent of leather, the faint hint of colonel, the undescribable scent of whatever chemical he'd used on the experiment he'd been working on. She could smell the light scent of rain from the summer shower that was now beating at the church windows. And over it all, the heady smell of anger and bitterness, of pride and lust, as he made his way towards her.

She swallowed, returning to her prayer, but it was a feeble, weak attempt. Her mind no more focused on her prayers than on the small cross she clutched within her grasp. Her traitorous body pulsed, screaming for him, for the feel of his strong arms around her body and his hot mouth on her skin. Screamed for the feel of his hands delving into her hair and his body joining with hers.

She snapped her eyes shut, in a desperate attempt to become lost in her prayers, in her misery, in her search for forgiveness. For whatever sin she'd committed; be it greed, sloth, wrath, gluttony, pride, envy, lust.

She begged, pleaded, to be forgiven. She was guilty of all seven.

_You laugh, you cry, no one knows why_  
_But ohh, the thrill of it all_  
_You're on the ride_  
_You might as well open your eyes_

"We need to talk, Lupo."

Her eyes snapped open, but her lips never stopped their prayers. They fell from her lips like roses and pearls, yet reaked of toads and vipers. When she finally finished the last of the Lord's Prayer, she turned her eyes to the cross at the front of the church, and crossed herself. She stood, moving past him and out of the church, he followed, grabbing her arm when she reached her car and turning her to face him.

"What do you want from me, Zane? Please, just leave me-"

But she was unable to finish, because his mouth was on hers, his hands were on her hips, his body ground against hers, desire pulsing through them both and meeting when their lips connected. She struggled to pull away, but found every part of her body resisting her head's screaming command.

_Angels don't do this. Angels don't give in to their desires. Angels don't let lust and greed_ _and pride take control._

Her head screamed at the top of its lungs that she would never return to Heaven if she gave in to her traitorous, carnal desires. Her heart screamed to shut up.

Somehow, someway, they made it back to her house, moved up the steps and into the foyer, going through the darkened house and stumbling into her bedroom. Her blouse was ripped open, buttons flying everywhere; his pants were removed, his hands tangled in her hair as he walked her back to the bed. They toppled, bodies colliding, limbs tangling, their souls passing from one body to the other through the play of their lips. She raked her nails across his chest; he ran his tongue over the light material of her bra, feeling the soft nub of her nipple harden beneath the fabric. She groaned, grinding her hips into his, pushing him back and climbing into his lap, becoming more aroused each time his hardness met her. By the time they'd reached the bed, her jeans and his shirt had been completely removed; neither knew nor cared who had removed what, they only cared about the sensations the other was causing.

She pushed him away, her mother's words ringing loud in her head.

_Sometimes, angels are sent to guide two people together. And if those two people stop fighting it, then their destiny can take hold. Our lives are planned for us, God sees to it. Whether we stick to those plans or scrap them and start over, is up to us, but it can only bring heartache, if there's someone pre-planned in our destiny. And sometimes, angels are sent down to Earth to find the one person they've been promised in their life. _

_We all, belong to someone else._

_When an angel falls from Heaven, it means God wants her to understand, that she was destined to be with someone that isn't in Heaven with her. God knows that even angels fall. It's his way of making them understand._

He stared at her, confusion lighting his blue eyes. "What? What's wrong?"

She shook her head, hearing her mother's voice. After a moment, she whispered,

"You're my angel. You're my guardian angel."

"What are you talking-" But she cut him off, returning her mouth to his as she slipped out of her underwear and yanked his boxers from him. She pushed him back onto the bed, postitioning herself over him, and with one last fervid kiss, they came together.

The fallen angel and her guardian, at last reunited.

_You will fly and you will crawl_  
_God knows even angels fall_  
_No such thing as you lost it all_  
_God knows even angels fall_

Her mother had told her once that no matter how strong, how bright and beautiful, how saintly, even angels fell from Heaven. It was just God's way of making them understand.

_Even angels fall_  
_Even angels fall_


End file.
